Aaron, you are so weak. You probably take back girls that treat you like shit and walk all over you with their Nancy Sinatra boots. You probably return to restaurants that forget your reservations and serve you undercooked food. And you probably keep rooting hard for your shitty college sports programs that let you down every goddamn year (”This is OUR year!!!).
Just four days ago, after my debut sampling of a Leinenkugel brew–their Sunset Wheat–I called it one of the worst beers I’ve ever had, giving it a big fat D. Yet, here I was today at the store searching for a beer or two to wet my whistle while watching the NBA Finals and what beer started calling out my name? Fucking Leinenkugel and their Berry Weiss. I’m so weak. Fruit beers are my kryptonite. God, it sounds so refreshing. Not strawberry or blueberry or raspberry but simply fucking “Berry”–as in those aforementioned ones and many more exciting berries (boysenberry, blackberry, cranberry, mulberry, and even fucking loganberry)–all crammed into one single wheat beer. It sounded like the Fruity Pebbles of beer. Oh, and it had such a beautiful label, the metallic magenta of it reflecting in my eyes. I didn’t want to do it. I looked around amongst the selections for any other beer available to bail me out. But none called for me. So, I sucked it up and grabbed a beer from the brand I thought I might never touch again. And then, to add insult to injury, I grabbed the brewery’s Honey Weiss too!
Wow. This is a very nice beer. It pours a color rarely seen in nature or the beer world–almost like the kind of fluorescent neon pink you usually see advertising “Girls! Girls! Girls!” or “Nudes! Nudes! Nudes!” or, quite frankly, anything scandalous in triplicate. A very, very fruity smell like a lambic. Tastes great too. More on the fruity side than the wheaty side. A tad sour in a bad way and the finish and aftertaste isn’t stupendous, but those are minor quibbles. Very carbonated like a soda. I could drink tons of these. I regret that I only bought one.
Negatives are that it’s not particularly complex and doesn’t exactly taste like a beer. This would be a good brew to give to your fourteen year old daughter if you were trying to get her into drinking.
Here’s to second chances. You’ve won me back Leinenkugel. At least for the interim. Now excuse me, I need to go call all my ex-wives and see if they’ll take me back. And I may visit that restaurant that served me a steak covered in pubes last week. And then I’m gonna drink my Honey Weiss.