ABV unlisted (I fucking hate when breweries do this!)
I have an embarrassing confession to make. I would understand if you are so disgusted by me that you quit reading the Vice Blog. On Sunday night I ordered from Domino’s. A full day of watching football and I must have been so deluged by those commercials for their new oven-baked sandwiches that eventually I thought it a splendid idea to actually order one.
Putting that fact aside for a second, Domino’s has an absolutely amazing feature on their website whereas they literally show you step-by-step, like a sporting event gamecast on ESPN.com, how your order is progressing.
They tell when your food has been prepped and by whom (Ramon in my case!), when it has been put in the oven (by Jordan in my case!), when it has been taken out and put in a heatwave bag (thanks Hector!), and when it is headed your way (see you soon delivery man Baganda!). It’s almost worth ordering from Domino’s online just to see this amazingness in action.
However, this seemingly rave review quickly takes a right turn and drives off the cliff. You see, as I was following my sandwich’s progress, anxiously awaiting for Baganda to arrive from a location just 5 blocks away, I noticed it was taking far too long. And after 30 minutes I started to think that Baganda had been hit my a car. And after 45 minutes, when the website order progress changed and said “Order Completed by Baganda!” I knew I had been bamboozled. That the order progress follower must simply be a cosmetic lie. Numerous calls to Domino’s went unanswered as well and I began to seethe. I considered sprinting down to the corporate pizzeria to shove someone’s head in the oven “Goodfellas” style. Alas, I was sitting in my underwear and too lazy for that exercise. Thus, with nothing in my fridge but beer, my dinner for the evening, just like a monk during lent, became a six-pack.
Earlier that day I’d stumbled upon Blue Point’s Oktoberfest. I didn’t even know they made that style. And apparently others don’t either as it currently only has 15 reviews on BA. Too bad, it has a cool label and is pretty decent. And actually tastes like a correct Oktoberfest, which is great as I’ve been finding many American versions are nowhere close to correct in style. This one is. Mild smell, not too complex, malty, or full-bodied but good enough. Certainly better than Brooklyn’s version.
Oh, and the epilogue to my Domino’s story is that I did indeed march down there on Monday where the kindest of kind Jamaican manager told me that Baganda did show up at my apartment building but that my doorman refused to let him in. That might sound legitimate except for the fact that I live in a building so shitty that we barely have a front door, much less a doorman. Whatever. I was refunded my money in cash and given some free coupons and cheezy something-or-others.