I like that 1950s-esque tradition of passing out cigars and lighting them up when your wife gives birth. Then again, I never need an excuse to vice on something. I’m not sure if people do that any more, but I kinda doubt it being that the world is becoming more and more sanitized, less and less…well, fun. In fact, when one of my friends’ wife recently gave birth to their son, he passed out candy cigars. Uh…thanks, I’ll try to enjoy your Mazel Tov moment with this giant spiral chunk of crappy baby blue gum. Shit, back in 1979, when I was born, the fucking moyel was no doubt chomping on a fat-ass stogy as he sliced off a piece of my manhood.
Now, I’ve never created a child that came to term–nor do I intend on doing so at least until Barry’s eight years in office are up–so I’ve never gotten an opportunity to restart this new-daddy-cigar-distributing trend. But, with a little help from my sister, I have just given birth to the newest incarnation of The Vice Blog.
And after a hard weekend of labor, I went out to find a cigar to puff on in celebration. Unfortunately, it was late on Sunday and even in the real city that never sleeps, I could only locate a worthless bodega with a “Smoke Shoppe” in the back. I picked up a poorly stored and overpriced La Gloria Cubana, a typically adequate PASSING cigar, and indeed it was again this time. You got to be damn careful about counterfeit cigars when you are buying from shady sellers, but I think this one was the real deal.
Smoking on it as the sun began to go down over the horizon, getting a tad stoned, I reflected on the future of the Vice Blog, excited where it might be headed. I hope you will enjoy The Vice Blog 2.0 too.