Monthly Archives: February 2009

Russian River Damnation

February 26, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 8 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Russian River, Country: America, Grade: B plus, Style: Belgian Strong Pale Ale

7% ABV on draught My Sick, Perverted Fetish No, it’s not as bad, or perhaps the correct word is as “weird” as BDSM or footjobbing or something hirsute-related, so I suppose my sexual fetish is more akin to dudes that love big asses or big breasts.  Let me backtrack for a second.  For my entire […]

Avery Mephistopheles’ Stout

February 24, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 10 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Avery, Country: America, Grade: A plus, Style: Stout

15.92% ABV bottled (Nov. 2008 BATCH 4) A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Homeless People in America from Drinking Low ABV Shit Beer, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public If I was the kind of guy that was into charities, the one I would found would be called Craft Beer for Bums (CBB).  […]

Middle Ages Druid Fluid

February 21, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 13 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Middle Ages, Country: America, Grade: B regular, Style: Barley wine

9.5% ABV from a bomber For the first thirty seconds after you eat a habanero chili nothing happens.  You’re confused.  You’re like, “This is it?!”  Instead of being quizzical though, you should savor the moment.  Because the next six to twenty-four hours of your life are going to be one giant ball of misery. It […]

Leinenkugel’s Red Lager

February 18, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 31 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Jacob Leinenkugel, Country: America, Grade: C plus, Style: Lager

4.9% ABV “Leave!  LEAVE!!!  Get the fuck outta here!  Yo, get the fuck out of here, motherfuckers!” Guess who said the above: A five-star restaurant’s maitre-d yelling at a bum for entering the fine dining establishment to panhandle?  A beleaguered female exploding at her ex-boyfriend who she has a restraining order on but who nevertheless […]

Crazy Ed’s Cave Creek Chili Beer

February 16, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 40 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Chili Beer Co., Country: America, Grade: F regular, Style: Chile beer, Video Reviews

4.2% ABV bottled My second career video review, yet again from my Ten Least Wanted List. And I don’t believe anything else needs to be written… Introduction: The Taste: The Aftermath: F Finally, as mentioned, I got a fuck ton of this shitty beer. Who wants to try some? If you’re interested shoot me an […]

Trappistes Rochefort 10

February 11, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 5 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Brasserie de Rochefort, Cigars, Country: Belgium, Grade: A plus, Style: Quadrupel

11.3% ABV along with a Casa Magna Colorado Gran Toro cigar I’d already celebrated my 30th birthday with a party at Blind Tiger, a decadent last weekend in Philadelphia, and with further plans this upcoming weekend in Syracuse, so I decided to spend my actual birth date in solitude, completely enjoying a deluge of some […]

RE-REVIEW: Masala Mama India Pale Ale

February 10, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 1 Comment | Filed in Brewer: Minneapolis Town Hall, Country: America, Grade: A regular, Style: IPA

5.9% ABV from a grrrrrrrrrrowler Google:  the geek squad sucks Results 1 – 10 of about 120,000 for the geek squad sucks. (0.23 seconds) Google:  fuck the geek squad Results 1 – 10 of about 58,900 for fuck the geek squad. (0.19 seconds) Google:  the geek squad can fellate my giant circumcised jew-cock No results […]

Nøgne Ø Dark Horizon 2.0 edition

February 9, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 3 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Nøgne Ø, Country: Norway, Grade: A plus, Style: Stout

17.5% ABV (bottling #11,554; November 5, 2007) Deleted Scenes A few brief tales, anecdotes, one-liners, and happenings that never came to complete fruition from my recent life that were not quite good enough to make the theatrical release. *BB and I picked up two best friends at a swank bar in Philadelphia who brought us […]

Uinta Fifteenth Anniversary Barley Wine

February 5, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 6 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Uinta, Country: America, Grade: B-, Style: Barley wine

10.4% ABV The G-Rated Seduction NOTE TO MY READERS:  This is an atypical story here on the Vice Blog.  It does not involve debauchery, perversion, transgression, or sordidness.  It is nothing more than a sweet story about a gal.  And a guy.  And another guy.  And, yes, another gal.  (But not like that you sicko.)  […]

Tyranena The Devil Made Me Do It! Coffee Imperial Oatmeal Porter (Brewers Gone Wild!)

February 3, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | 8 Comments | Filed in Brewer: Tyranena, Country: America, Grade: A-, Style: Oatmeal Porter

I rolled out of bed and yawned into the living room, immediately causing my roommates to crack up laughing.  This was not something atypical to hungover Saturday and Sunday mornings back in my early-twenties, but, nevertheless, I had to ask:  “What?” Freddie smirked.  “Have you forgot?  Check your wallet.” I ran back to my room […]