Bell’s HopSlam Ale

February 2, 2009 by Aaron Goldfarb | Filed under Brewer: Bell's, Country: America, Grade: A regular, Style: IPA.

10% ABV

“He was a man who used vices to drain poisons out of his body rather than to saturate it.”  Mario Puzo, The Last Don

Yesterday I woke up alone at 4:00 in the afternoon.  I still had all my possessions on me.  I hadn’t lost my cell phone, my wallet, even my dignity.  This was quite astonishing as the night before had been my 30th birthday party and, you see, I am quite famous for losing all of the aforementioned–most notably the latter–on my big day.  Why, most of my birthday party stories are too sordid, perverse, and transgressive for even me to tell.  Don’t get me wrong, if I told some of these tales they would instantly catapult to the top of my “best of” section but I guess even I have limits.

I started Saturday afternoon with a few while still at home, eager to try a fresh bottle of HopSlam that Dirtyspeed over at Friday Night Beer had recently sent me.   Currently the 26th “best” beer on planet earth, I found it deserves all the acclaim it gets as it is truly sublime.  A state-of-the-art DIPA with added honey notes that really allows it to stand apart from most of the other great DIPAs on the market.  A terrific bitter hoppiness yet still sweet due to the honey giving it barley wine characteristics somewhat.  Smooth and creamy, boozy enough but damn drinkable, and with a nice mouthfeel, I absolutely loved this beer and immediately wished I had more.  It’s fairly limited so if you have any friends in the states that stock Bell’s, implore them to send you some.

My party was held at Blind Tiger Ale House, considered by many to be the best beer bar in America.  We had a great time but nothing particularly “blog-worthy” occurred which I think may have disappointed some who expected utter lunacy.  That’s fine, though, you can’t force craziness.  You can’t force fun.  You can only go out, have some drinks, be happy, and be social.  And we were, and I had a great time. From what I recall.

I suppose the most interesting thing at my party was that diverse friends of mine got to collude with each other.  I run in many different circles that rarely mix so for one of the few–if not first–times various friends got to meet each other.  And the topic most discussed was, “Is ____ Vice Blog story real?”

So Freddie was asked if my 2nd worst hook-up story was really Kosher.  Sadly it is.  He confirmed the BBW tale as well.

People inquired of Stanton if Jimmy was truly a real person.  Surely–surely!–he can’t be.  Oh, but he is, Stanton confirmed.  He likewise detailed how fucked-up Queens is.

Several participants in the Hooker Lottery showed, almost six years exactly after that stunning event.

And even my friend King Otto–who was secretly filming the festivities using a nerdy spy pen–got to update his rarely-updated blog which makes fun of me*.

I had a great boozy time and my friends even reminded me of some other funny stories from our past that I should and will write up very soon.

I was still so hungover by Super Bowl time that I sat home by myself watching the game and drinking diet soda.  Perhaps the first sober Super Bowl I’ve had since John Elway was playing.


*Ladies, he’s single.  E-mail me your headshots if you’re interested and I’ll pass them onto the King.

13 Responses to “Bell’s HopSlam Ale”

  1. KingOttoIII says:

    I am shocked you didnt get thrown out. When we left you opened the windows to yell at Greg to come back. When you did you knocked over a bunch of glasses that broke on the floor.

    What happened with the foreign chicks? The pen is your gift. You can use it to capture tourists without them knowing. It works fine in light but sucks in the dark as you can see.

  2. What pen do you actually have? I gotta say it’s nerdy as hell but I kinda want one now.

    I didn’t wake up with any foreign chicks so the answer is: I don’t know.

  3. Anton says:

    This post was like a 100th Anniversary Clip Show.

  4. Are you ever flipping through the channels and you find a “Seinfeld” rerun you like and then after a good scene they play a scene from a totally different episode and then you’re like, “Fuck! Stupid clip show!” I’d rather just watch an actual episode.

  5. Anton says:

    Absolutely. (Even though I’m not a Seinfeld fan). I believe the Simpsons used a great joke in their whatever Anniversary Episode, where one of the lyrics to their song was something akin to “Don’t you hate it when we waste a new episode on a clip show….” You speaketh the truth, Homer.

  6. Dave says:

    This beer is fantastic. But it’s better really cold which usually isn’t the case with a lot of beers out there.

  7. You think so? I’m to the point where I pretty much drink stouts and barley wines at room temperatures, IPAs slightly chilled. I know that’s warmer than most people drink at but I like it.

  8. Dave says:

    I agree with you totally except with this beer for some reason. I usally leave Barleywines and Stouts sit out for a good 1-1 1/2 hours before I touch them. Sometimes longer.

  9. If I get another bottle I’ll try it more chilled.

  10. Dave says:

    Don’t get me wrong. It’s still fantastic. I just liked it better cold.

  11. Jeff says:

    Despite the unblogworthiness of the night, wish I could have made it out there for the party.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *