5.5% ABV on draught
The bartender set my Ommegang Rouge in front of me, just as her phone began to vibrate in her hip-hugging pocket. She sucked in her abs to make her pants less taut and reached in to carefully extract the device. She glanced at it. A histrionic gagging looking came across her face.
“Ugh, could he just leave me alone?”
She held up her phone to casually show me the display:
I didn’t think this off-off-off-Broadway actress cum drinkslinger was a Dostoevsky fan, so I inquired, “Why who is ‘The Idiot?'”
She gave an emotive sighing ooooh…
“Just my stupid ex…”
Ooooooh boy. Aside from the latest and the lamest in celebrity gossip, usually focusing on celebrities that aren’t really celebrities, is there anything a single girl loves to talk about more than their ex?
The answer is no.
“God, he’s so annoying. I wished he’d just leave me alone!”
If you hate him so much why can’t you quit talking about him?
“He’d take me to the worst restaurants and the lamest bars and we always hand to hang with his stupid unemployed friends…”
If you’re having a good time with me, why are you still hung up on the terrible times you had with him?
“He’s so dumb and he has a childish sense of humor and he’s a cokehead too…”
If you like the qualities I have, then why are you telling me about those hateable traits he had?
“He is really just the worst. Why does he have to keep bothering me?! I’d rather be talking to you…”
And why do girls only have that one ex? It’s almost like a badge of honor. Seems you can only have one boyfriend but girls also only have the one ex they always talk about. THE Ex. THE in full capital letters. A man more entwined in the girl’s life than any one else. His douchey presence lording over her entire existence like some coked out Obi-Wan.
Bluntly put, if a girl is still talking about her ex frequently, you should run.
“I should have known he was a real asshole from day one. I mean he picked me up at Hooter’s.”
“Like you were dining at Hooter’s…?”
“No. I was working there.”
If a girl still is still talking about her ex frequently she is:
And still hung up on him.
And gonna annoying you til the end of time.
You will never be able to compete with this man. Just sip your beers and move onto another gal. Nothing to see here.
Eventually, my bartender went outside to smoke and to call her ex (“Just to yell at him to leave me alone!) and I finally got to sip on my Ommegang Rouge from straight out of Cooperstown, NY. I’ve long enjoyed most all of their major bottled offerings, but this was the first time I’d had anything limited from them. It was likewise the first time I had ever had a Flanders Red Ale, essentially the “wild ale” from Belgium. Rouge did not disappoint, pouring a color slightly darker than its name but delivering some serious tartness. It tastes like acid indigestion which is a good thing for a sour beer like this! (I think!) Puckering and full of sour cherry taste, vinegar, and oakiness. A little lacking in complexity but quite nice. My mouth is currently salivating just thinking about this tart bad boy. Would like to have again.