How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide

September 16, 2010 by Aaron Goldfarb | Filed under Other projects.

Friends, family, drinkers, stalkers, people that accidentally discovered this due to some bad Googling…

I am pleased to announce the upcoming release of my first novel!

It’s coming out on November 9th, online and at many fine (and many not-so-fine) retailers.

How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide

Here’s the scoop:

How to Fail is the world’s FIRST Self-Hurt Guide, the polar opposite of a self-help guide. In How to Fail, follow the misadventures, misgivings, and massive mistakes of this satiric novel’s narrator, Stu Fish, as he tries to find success in 2010 New York. With hilarious chapters such as “How to Fail to Make Your Parents Proud of You,” “How to Fail to Do Something Productive All Day,” “How to Fail in Love,” and “How to Fail All the Way to Rock Bottom,” and even more ribald “footchapters” such as “How to Masturbate at Work,” “How to Develop an Addiction,” “How to Get Usurped by Your Girlfriend’s Ex,” and “How to Acquire the STD That’s Right for You,” there’s not an aspect of life that How to Fail doesn’t tackle and offer a terrific non-solution for.

If you like my writing here, you’ll like my book even more.  You can even read the whole first chapter on the newly launched!

Did you enjoy that?  Well then, I’d love if you’d help me out by preordering a copy right now (come on, do it–RIGHT NOW!), either on Amazon or

How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide

If I get a good amount of preorders it will allow me to do quite a few fun things, most specifically book various events around the country (hopefully in YOUR hometown!).  As it is, I will be already hitting up the east coast in the first month after release, and will very soon announce those events on, my Twitter page, and my new Facebook page (which I’d love if you’d LIKE):

Thanks for indulging me, now let’s get back to discussing beer!

2 Responses to “How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide”

  1. Jim says:

    Love your blog so I just pimped your book on Facebook. That should be good for at least one sale – my mom is a good listener!

    Good luck Aaron!

  2. Thanks Jim!

    That’s incredibly appreciated.

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